Jack Sparrow, Eunuch
by sharonarnotdon
Summary: Will finds a loophole in his own agreement with Jack, and uses it to his advantage. Chapter 2 up, Jack meets Jack, and then another Jack
1. Default Chapter

_Jack Sparrow- Eunuch_

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My God what has she done to Jack, right? No, I haven't gotten him castrated. Basically Jack meets an old friend in Tortuga and an accord is come to. I'm probably taking down Rum and Roses soon for a touch up, then it will be back.

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_"We're devil's we're black seep we're really bad eggs drink up me hearties yo-ho!_

_ Yo-ho yo-ho a pirate's life for me!_ _I love this song!"_

  


"Drink up me hearties, yo-ho." He muttered, taking a swig of his ale and looking gloomily up. Many people stared at him, totally not used to this side of Jack Sparrow. (_Captain_ Jack Sparrow!!!) The only time he had ever acted this way was...

"By God, did the bloke lose the _Pearl_ again?"

"Don't know mate, 'e ain't said one word."

Jack sneered. "No, sir, I did not lose the Pearl again!"

"Then what is it?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "Found out me girl wasn't a girl."

"Well, what's wrong with a fella?"

He glared. "Was a eunuch!"

'OOOooooooo' most of them muttered, knowing how he despised eunuchs. They all went about their business then, bartenders tending bar, people fighting, shooting, upturning tables, women flirting, people selling things. Jack shook his head. "Always somethin'." He took another sip and nearly choked as he beheld who walked through the door.

The man grinned seeing him, moving to the table and extending a hand. "Jack! I'm glad I found you!"

Jack stood, unable to hide a light lifting of the corners of his mouth. "What's your business in Tortuga, sir?"

Will Turner's smile faded. "Well, you see, it's Elizabeth."

Jack chuckled. "If the young missus Turner's been kidnaped by a crew of buckaroo's and a captain so evil that Hell itself spat him back out again, sorry, can't help."

"No, no. That's not it at all." Will ran a hand through his hair. "You see she gave birth last week, boy, and I wanted to ask permission to use your name, for my son, Jack."

This was anything but what Jack was prepared for him to say. "My name? Captain Jack Sparrow?"

Will laughed. "No, just Jack, or Jack Sparrow if we really want to get the Governor's attention, course Turner will be the last name."

For the first time in his life, Jack had no clue as to what to say. "Well, erm, Will. That is quite an honor of you to ask of me..."

"Oh thats only part of it."

"What's the rest of it?"

Will's smile was radiant. "Well, Elizabeth doesn't like the idea much, but I want you to come stay with us. Only for a while, we'll come up with a name and relation for you. I greatly want you to be there with us to see this."

"Let me get this straight, not only do you want to name your son for me but you want me to come live with yeh, have a new name have to be part of 3 a.m. feedings, and other nightly exasperations and you think I'll enjoy it?"

Will smiled and shoved a finger playfully into the other man's chest. "Exactly."

Jack looked at him, pretending to consider. "No thanks."

Will's face fell. "Jack, it's a beautiful blessed event! You obviously aren't going to have your own, so why the hell not see what it's like?"

"First," Jack said, slamming his mug against the table. "I ain't gonna show me face in Port Royal because so far as I know Commodore Norrignton is still Commodore and about. Secondly, I've no time to be playing Uncle, we're leaving tomorrow set to make berth on the shore's of the Isla de Muerta next week, yes Mr. Turner, I'm going back. And third, how would you know if I had any? I could have a million running around and not know it."

Will bit his lip, forcing himself to stay calm. "You're going after Cortez's treasure again?"

Jack snorted. "You honestly don't think I'm that stupid do you?"

Will grinned. "Of course, you're dishonest." Suddenly, he perked slightly, and eyed Jack. "I'll tell you what, you come spend a month with Elizabeth and I, hidden from the Commodore, and under my life's protection, I will sail to Isla de Muerta with you, a month under your command. Do we have an accord?" He offered Jack his hand.

Jack grinned at the younger man. '_Yeh never learn, do you Turner?' _He thought to himself. He took Will's hand and shook it. "Agreed."

Will eyed him closely, then smiled. "All right, agreed." 

"Boys, to ship, now!" Jack alerted his crew, receiving a scowl from Anna Maria. "And lady."

Will watched in horror as the crew went to ready the ship. "Wait, they're coming with us? And the Pearl, you'd never make it into..."

"Oh no Mr. Turner, we aren't going into Port Royal. See, you didn't say we had to go see the child first, so we're going to the Isla de Muerta first." Jack put on his hat, and ambled out of the pub.

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_ "The Immortal Captain Jack Sparrow, has a nice ring to it, eh?"_

Will scowled as he leaned over the railing, staring into the midnight blue waters. He had the most gut wrenching feeling that Jack would go for the cursed Treasure of Cortez either way. And now because he had not been thinking he would not see his wife and son for over a month.

"Glaring at the water isn't going to make it swallow you up."

Will nearly smiled. "No harm trying."

Jack made his way over to hm. "Stop acting like woman, this is your own fault."

"How am I acting like a woman?"

"Son, only women scowl so." Jack grinned and Will couldn't help but laugh lightly.

"Your slippery Jack, I'll hand you that much." He shook his head. "Too slippery."

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Well, I'm sunk. Review, tell me whatcha think and give me some ideas.


	2. Chapter 2

_Two_

_Here We Go Again_

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The group trudged through the caves, water sloshing at their feet in most places, and finally they beheld the treasure, and a long gasp ensued from many to see the trunk of Cortez's treasure was wide open. Jack hurried forward, climbing up the steep hill of coins and jewels and fell to his knee's before it. "No!"

Will's face went from passive to insinuating. "Ah-ha! I _knew_ it!"

"Knew what?" Jack asked, forgetting his grief.

"That you were after Cortez's treasure again!"

Jack glared. "Turner, hardly the time to make accusations." He turned back to the gold. "Now where was I?" he rubbed his chin and grinned. "Ah yes, ahem. Men, lady, our work, is cut short, for another has dared to take a piece of this gold!"

"Who could it be?"

"How shall we kill them?"

"Ook-a-ri-ri-ri?"

All the men and Anna Maria blinked and turned slowly around to see Jack, Barbossa's monkey with a piece of the gold in his hand, erm... paw. Jack (the person) smiled at it and stepped slowly forward, the monkey watched him warily. "Hey little Jack, how about you give me that and I'll give you a nice banana, eh?"

The monkey seemed to consider it, then moved back a bit. Jack tried to keep his patience. "All right, better, I'll give you a plantain instead, eh?"

The monkey considered again, and then moved to Jack, trustingly placed the gold in his hand and pushed his fingers about it. Jack smiled and the creature reached forward, he frowned. "You didn't think I was serious?"

The monkey looked sadly at him, seemed to pout and continued to reach forward. Anna Maria glared. "Well?"

Jack turned to her. "I ain't got no stinkin' plantain!" He muttered, turning to leave when she grabbed his vest bravely. "No plantain, then you just got yourself a new crew member!"

The monkey chirped with excitement and Jack was about to object when Anna Maria yanked him away and the men began to fill their bags with gold and jewels. Jack threw the gold into the chest and had some crew members carry it to the boat, after getting what he wanted, they left the Isla de Meurta. Jack was in his cabin that night, admiring a jewel encrusted crown when Will hurried in, smiling.

Jack raised a thick eyebrow at him, not trusting him for one second. "What?" Will continued to stare at him with the grin, one Jack hadn't sever seen on him. Jack stood and cowered into the corner. "I swear to God if you don't stop looking at me like that! . . ."

"You would swear to God?" Will asked with surprise moving closer. "None of the matter, I've completed my half of the deal, now it's your turn Captain."

"Well," Jack began. "You see there's this lass back in Tortuga and if I don't bring her money before we stop over there I'm afraid you won't like the consequences."

Will shrugged passively. "What should I care? How will she know you're not lost at sea?"

Jack laughed rather annoyingly, and continually until he didn't feel like it. "Please! If Captain Jack . . ." 

"Sparrow were lost at sea everyone would know, I know, I know and do you know what? I don't care! You are coming with me to see Elizabeth and my son wether you like it or not, I had to come with you!" He spun a ring around and slipped it into his pocket, when seeing Jack's disapproving glare he grinned and said. "For safe keeping."

"Yes, I'm sure the missus will keep it very safe. But you have just one problem." He grinned, leaning closer to Will. "I am the captain of this ship, what say, goes. And I haven't said Port Royal."

"Too bad isn't it?" Will held back a smile as he looked wickedly at him. "Anna Maria's had the ship bound for Port Royal since we left the Isla de Muerta."

"WHAAAAAATTTT!!!!???"

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"No, you don't understan', pleeeaaaassseeeee turn the ship 'round!" Jack was a sight for sore eyes begging Anna Maria on his hand and knees, both Anna Maria and Will were laughing rather fiercely and at the sound of people slowly coming into hearing range Jack froze and looked over the side of the ship. "Oh Jesus . . ."

Anna Maria kicked him in the side. "Hey! Careful how you use that, buddy!"

"Oh Lord . . ." Jack moaned in pain and deciding not to break his ribs Anna Maria bit her tongue. "Why are you flippin' out? We took the other sail off, no one knows this is the Black Pearl!"

"Except for one, teensie weensie detail." Jack said, throwing his hand over the side of his beloved ship and reporting. "Her name is written on her side."

"Uff!" Both Will and Jack groaned as they hit the dock.

"G'luck boys!" Anna maria called as the ship began to turn away. "We'll see you soon! We hope!"

Jack and Will dragged themselves off their bellies and quickly made way off the docks and out of sight until they found Will and Elizabeth's home. A baby's cry sounded the minute they strode up to the door and Jack turned to walk away, was grabbed by Will as he dragged him inside.

"Elizabeth! We're home!" Will called, smiling as his wife came into view.

"What's taken you so long!" She cried, rushing into his arms. After a quick embrace and kiss she noticed Jack, standing rather limply in the doorway. "Oh, hello Jack. You came."

"A deal's a deal." He muttered, glaring over at Will. She looked suspiciously at her husband.

"What deal?"

"The deal to come back!" He said ushering her out. "Come, come Jack! Come see my son!"

"Well," Elizabeth began to protest. " I don't think that's such a good idea because I just put him down for his nap!" But against her will her well, Will shoved Jack into the nursery and followed. "Isn't he beautiful?"

Jack looked down at the baby sleeping in it's cradle and then back at Will. "Bit bald if you ask me . .."

Elizabeth began to chuckle and Will frowned, turning slightly red. "He has hair!"

"Yes," Elizabeth said, still laughing. "Yes maybe in la la land he does!" She continued laughing. "I told you, Will!"

"He is NOT bald!"

"Is so." Both Elizabeth and Jack said in unison.

Will smiled fondly at the boy. "He's perfect." (AN, yes I Know, Fangirls: Gush)

Elizabeth quieted at this and smiled softly as she watched Will gaze at the baby, felt her heart flutter. The bell buzzed and Jack peeked out the window, immediately jumped away and muttered. "We've got company lads, and he looks a lot like me old pal the commodore!"

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Meh, this should get interesting, eh? Sorry it took so long, I had absolutely NO ideas. Reviews with ideas always help. Next chapter should be longer and funnier. 


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